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Little-Known Holidays Jazz Up January
• by Jordan Mackay
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Occasionally, my New Year’s Day hangover can last all month. Not necessarily a failure of my sure-fire hangover remedy (pho, the Vietnamese noodle soup), this is rather a slump in spirit. We all get this. After that mistletoe-spangled, Champagne-doused rush to the finish line, the long, barren month of January (a month with only one festive holiday – the Super Bowl – which is in February this year, anyway) seems almost too dull to bear. Furthermore, you’re trying to dry out and feebly stick to whatever hopeless resolutions you’ve made. And it’s this combination of dreary ennui with masochistic self-denial that often feels like a hangover.
But what’s the best way to combat a hangover (besides pho)? Of course, more drinking. So, I’m going to take the opportunity to christen 2004 as the unofficial Year of the Hair of the Dog. Now, I’ve considered that that’s a lot of extra drinking, though, and probably on woozy stomachs. The best way to help the medicine go down is not a spoonful of sugar. Drinking is always easier: 1) on holidays and 2) with drinking games.
While we’ve established that there aren’t a lot of big examples of the former in January (Martin Luther King Jr. Day can be kind of somber), I’ve discovered that there are lots of little ones. And, as to the latter, with a little creativity, almost anything can be turned into a drinking game. Can you imagine? If we all carried a brief little buzz each day and had our minds attuned more to the playful aspect of life, January would breeze by in the way usually only months like May or October do.
Now, I know some of you might object that our productivity at work could take a hit if we were all perpetually playing drinking games. It’s true, but before you raise that finger in objection, ask yourself this: How much do you really get done anyway? So let’s see how we can play with January, rather than be played.
Major holidays are indeed few and far between. Arbor Day is the 16th, and at least worthy of a toast to our loyal friends, the trees. The 19th is Martin Luther King Jr. Day, a day off. Reflect, perhaps, with the wine of kings – Champagne – and toast the great man. The 26th of January is Australia Day, which I will be celebrating with all my Aussie friends. It means break out the Shiraz (both sparkling and still), break out the Coopers (the famous bottle-fermented beer from South Australia) and cheer the day that Australia became a country. And as soon as you recover from your hangover from that (more pho, please) you’ll be done with the awful first month and ready for the Big Game on Feb. 1.
But don’t let the paucity of national celebrations get you down. Because, oh yes, my friends, there are a ton of smaller holidays that can be toasted and cheered and built into your drinking game fun. Let’s look at a few (which I pulled from the Web site www.butlerwebs.com/holidays/januaryholidays.htm).
Besides being our New Year, Jan. 1 is the Japanese New Year (mmm, sake), as well as something called Z Day (“Let people with names that start with Z be first in line for a change!”) I would make sure to get my hands on some of that incredible Hungarian bitter liquor, Zwack Unicum. That’s worth a toast. Jan. 2 is Science Fiction Day (anyone who says the words “android,” “na-noo,” “death star” or “Ohura” has to drink). The 3rd, national Chocolate Covered Cherry Day (break out the cherry schnapps and port) is, logically, followed by Pharmacist Day, when we take our local drugstore clerk out for beers in hope of getting some free Vicodin in return (the one hangover remedy better than pho). The 6th is the Feast of the Epiphany Day, so make sure to feast and accordingly recall your greatest booze-based epiphanies. (“Wow, man, every living thing really is connected.”) Rock ‘n’ Roll day arrives on the 8th, which is also Elvis’ birthday, so we naturally will party like rock stars. (I might begin the night listening to Elvis, but will end it bouncing off walls to Le Tigre.)
The 12th is Clean Off Your Desk Day (one swig of Wild Turkey for every stray paper clip). The 21st is Hugging Day – heck, I’ll drink to that. Chinese New Year is on the 22nd (okay, it’s Year of the Monkey, not Hair of the Dog – but, as we all know, nothing’s more fun than a barrel full of monkeys – so anyone who scratches themselves has to take a swig). On the 24th of January in 1935 beer was first sold in cans. We all know what to do with that! The 29th is Corn Chip Day (see the 24th for drinking suggestions).
So, as you can see, there’s no reason to let the January doldrums get you down. Making a little effort to recognize some of the month’s unsung holidays and spicing them up with a little drinking-game action will get you through the month faster than you can say “warp factor one” (and choke down a shot of Wild Turkey for that).
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